Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
