i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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