And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
