jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
