Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
