he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
