sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
