my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
