rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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