3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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