I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
