i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
