Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize