OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
