The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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