i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
