I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
