He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Drunk is a universal language darling
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