I want to walk on stilts...naked
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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