i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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