So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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