guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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