There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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