Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
she smelled like a LAN party
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
