Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
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5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
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Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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