im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
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hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
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I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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