i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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