You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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