Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Randomize
