Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
