Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
