I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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