Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
