quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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