well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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