you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
