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Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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