Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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