moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Randomize
