Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
