i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
worst night to have a conscience
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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