I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
