I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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