I wannas sexs uuuuu
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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