i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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