all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I supernannyed him into submission
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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