Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
