I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
