Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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