Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
