Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize