i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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