I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
