remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize
