my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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