I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
