It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
