The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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