I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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