Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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