White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
