hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
