Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
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