She just used a chaser for red wine.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
