Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
