i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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