The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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