I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
