don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize