Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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