i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
where am i from again
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize