OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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